Slightly delayed response on who's part I do not know, but after two and a half long weeks of waiting I finally got my lab results back. It turned out I had collected and brought in everything BUT my baby. Which left only one other possibility. I flushed my own child down the toilet. As somber of an end as any.
From time to time I think this.
I think that my child died a tragic death at my own hands in more ways then one. I think it did not have to be so. Had I not denied myself food all in the name of a slimmer waist line, had I worked out only once, not twice that day, had I gotten more sleep and less stress. Less drink, more milk. Had I KNOW there was a precious and fragile baby growing inside of me... I would have done things differently. I would have been more careful and maybe... just maybe we would not be where we are today.
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2 comments:
Darling twin... it's so not your fault... Our sweet saviour has your child in His arms in heaven where he/she will be safe until that day when you will meet them.
Ok I don't know why this posted again. I wish it didn't. Brings back too much emotion.
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